Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Election Night

Live from the blistering-paced Daily Journal newsroom, it's Kyle McCall:

Hello and welcome everyone to this year's coverage of the 2005 elections. No presidential election, but plenty of hot topics on the ballot during this unseasonably warm Tuesday. Gays in Texas fall short of getting tied to a pick-up truck and drug around the state, the Virginia governor race gets crazy and some small issues pass in a shitty little North Carolina town.

Down in Texas, gays took another strike in their attempt to become equal citizens. In Texas there's only one way for marriage, or two rather. A man and woman or a man and his chosen farm animal. Sheep, goats, cows, hell your horse, whatever, as long as it's not a fuckin gay. If you're gay in Texas, they hate you, plain and simple. Want to get married gays? Too fucking bad. I know when I'm trying to stop gays from getting married I always call in minorities and the KKK.

I hear that the Virginia governor race was nuts. Lots of money, coke, Panthers cheerleaders and a jew riding a donkey. Don't really know much about this race, but here's a link on the issues:

The Governator gives it another shot in
California. If those people had any idea what is going on, they would get rid of his ass faster than you can say "He'd be president if he were born in the U.S." Which he probably would. Remember who our president is? Read a BICYCLE magazine article about Bush on a mountain bike. Guess eh rides hard, but he's still a giant toolbox on an overpriced bike. I'd like to kick his ass in the saddle while I discuss foreign policy in North Korea.

New York City's mayor race got hot and heavy. No
word yet.

Around here, the $25 million school bond passed. Which means that the schools will get a band-aid for their problems. They could use way more money than that. I have a feeling most of that will go to the football team, the only thing that matters. Some tards won mayor races yadda yadda.

Speaking of the football team, they locked up the number one seed in the playoffs, which means they will host Independence (#6 team in the nation) at home if both teams get that far. I'm there like stink on shit.

Now on to the REAL news.
The Panthers cheerleaders that were mentioned yesterday got straight up canned from the TopCats. This thing snowballed into an Internet craze just between dancing babies and stupid songs that drive you up the wall. The third highest rated story on Charlotte.com in it's 9 year history. The number one e-mailed story on ESPN.com yesterday and even not-so-funny Jay Leno made a joke about it.

Follow up

If I would have voted, I would have voted for those two. Now back to work. Fun night, reminds me why I work in the newspaper business.